When Pro-Life Politics Comes Home to Roost.
by proseandpromise
Sat Jul 11, 2009 at 08:24:52 AM PDT
My mother-in-law is dying.
I, my wife, and the rest of the family are hoping and praying that her newest chemo treatment (the last one available) will be effective and will knock back the cancer that is currently blocking her digestive system. But if this treatment fails, then the doctors will be out of good options.
After this round of chemo, the only options will be hospice or painful, dangerous surgical treatments that would lead to incredible pain, discomfort, and maybe even death on a surgical table.
But my father-in-law has come to believe that he must pursue every treatment that is out there or else he is "giving up." When I suggested to him that at some point the treatments might be more pain and suffering than they are worth, he told me that I sounded too much like a pro-choice humanist suggesting a "right-to-die."
My father-in-law has been so influenced by the rhetoric of the religious right that he believes that not pursuing every last medical treatment constitutes killing his wife. Over the last week, he has mentioned the case of Terri Schiavo (a case where right-wing politics invaded the personal life of a couple in Florida) and talked about how "wrong" Terri's husband was.
So, despite that it would be better for my mother-in-law to go to hospice, that my wife's family could never afford the expensive, experimental treatments, and that the family could spent quality time together in a hospice situation instead of sitting for prolonged periods in hospital waiting rooms, my father-in-law is trapped by his politics.
I am furious. Prying in to people's personal lives and decisions is what James Dobson and Co. thrive on, and they have so successfully indoctrinated my wife's family that the entire family, my mother-in-law included, is willing to act against their own best interests in order to "not be like the secular humanists."
They are victims of their own ideology.
And all of it is done in defense of the "sanctity of life" and in the name of the Bible. But what is sacred about life in a hospital bed, hooked to machines, numb from morphine and in the depths of despair at a slow-coming, inevitable death. The sanctity and beauty of human life should never allow us to subject ourselves to such misery in the vain hope for a few more months. The sanctity of life should emphasize for people who are making such choices that it is the QUALITY of life, not the quantity, which is significant.
This theme of dealing with cancer, and wrestling with treatments and the will to live is dealt with beautifully by Emma Thompson in the award winning film "Wit."
And the Dobsons of this world have lied to Christians also about what the Bible says about death. The Bible does not tell Christians to fight for every last day of life, but rather to live well and to die well, hoping not in longevity of life, but in the resurrection of the dead. Here's what the Bible actually says...
13Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. 14We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.
1 Thessalonians 4:13-14
You may view that as fairy tale and wishful thinking. But it is what the Bible, which the Dobsons of this world use to guilt people like my in-laws, actually says.
And so as I prepare for another day here at my in-laws house, trying to encourage them to re-think their feelings about end-of-life issues, I can't help be furious with nosey right-wingers who, without ever stepping foot in my wife's family's door, have barged in and are calling all the shots.
If you have forgotten why the rhetoric of the cultural right-wing is so dangerous, I hope this serves to remind you. We need to defeat them at every step of the way - not only to liberate ourselves from their supposed morality, but to liberate their entrenched followers as well.
Wish me luck as I continue to try to speak for a humanitarian approach to death, and a truly Christian understanding of hope, in a very difficult place.
Thanks for reading.