New Species Found in New Guinea Disprove "Intelligent Design"
By The Lobotomist
Tuesday, February 07, 2006 at 09:01 AM
Scientists the world over are hailing the news published today in the Online Edition of "The Independent."
But yet, there were some disturbing finds that scientists believe should finally put to rest any further discussion of "Intelligent Design" as a competitor to the scientifically-accepted theory of evolution.
Three newly discovered animals, in particular, leave little doubt that they could NOT have been designed by an intelligent creator.
First, the "Yellowbellied Chickenhawk." The scientists noted with no small amount of disgust that this frail, ugly bird - its scant head feathers revealing a pale, grey, scaly skin and lopsided beak frozen in a perpetual sneer - seems to enjoy fomenting disagreements among the other animals in the forest. It then hops to safety and watches while the animals fight amongst themselves. It's distinctive cry of "chay-NEE! Chay-NEE!" can be heard throughout the jungle.
Then there's the "Potbellied Pillsucker." Like the Yellowbellied Chickenhawk, it seems to enjoy watching other animals do combat. But when confronted by other aggressive animals, it actually grows what appears to be some sort of "cyst" above its anus, which it pecks at, weeping. It's cry of "DITT-ohhhh.... DITT-ohhhh" seems to make the other animals in the forest nauseous.
Finally, there's the "Forked Tongue Refroglican." It sits on its pad on the surface of a slimy lagoon, croaking "clintondidit... clintondidit... clintondidit..."
Scientists agree that the presence of these loathsome animals reaffirms evolution's place as scientific fact, as an "intelligent designer" would have never allowed such repulsive creatures to exist.