Liberal Talking Points?

By Number Six

Thursday, October 13, 2005 at 03:10 AM

Ever the victim of emailing neocons....

I get this annoying garbage sent to me, oft, obviously just to apply more torque to my tail rotor. You probably get some yourself, y'know? Little cutesy snide jokes about Hillary, Democrats, libs, whatever, correct?

So, I get this incredibly long email, loosely entitled "You're a Liberal if....". MmmHmm, a huge shopping list of prerequisites for being a progressive. No, I won't bother posting them, of course, I try to avoid wasting the electrons.

But, being the mean-spirited and caustic person I often am, I sent the prime culprit the following:

"Thank you, but upon reflection (something progressives do and neocons don't), it becomes clear that this is little more than a sham attempt to create...ahem...liberal talking points."

"As liberals think for themselves, and do not require a Rovian hand up our rectums, your statements then cease being of any use whatsoever. Fuck you very much for your concern."

"Oh, and yes, you are most definitely a goddamned goonish neocon Chimpie fan if your idea of intelligent discussion is to cut-n-paste bullshit like this and pass it off as your own intellect in action. Dittoheads, as every intelligent person knows, are incapable of independent thought process."

No reply, either. Interesting. Wonder if it got forwarded, eh?

But again, as I've mentioned in other nastygrams of my own creation, and oft with sarcastic meanness so applied, does it ever occur to a neocon that the term "puppet" or, shall we say, "mindless zombie" ever occur to them?

One neocon I know gets angry with me for ending all conversations and coldly: Why won't I entertain them?

"When, in my thought processes, I detect a data stream that doesn't sound like you sit and take notes during one of Sean Hannibal's hate tirades, well, fuck you. Come to me with your own genuine thoughts and ideas, otherwise, if you're ever by the lake....drop in."

And living deep in the Red South, that's about tantamount to impossible. The Jaysus Borg, of course, already have their talking points laid down, thank you, Huey P Constantine for such. The rest? The Klan wannabees? The smug and pretensive ones?

"Look, if I want to hear that stuff, I will toss you to the side and actually listen to El Oxycondo meself. I have wonderful access to all sorts of data, and I have always been self-informed and somewhat self-reliant. Persons like myself, of course, tend to chafe at, forgive me, magpies."

Call me an elitist then, if you wish. No, incorrect, not true. Try human being, rich with my own thoughts, ideas and dialoque. And coming from someone whose grade-school teacher once accused of not owning enough crayons in my box (to which I said, untrue, it's just that my colors are more expressive, like Fluorescent Black or Neon Plaid, or Anti-Magnetic Cobalt...), well, again, I don't need someone else to formulate stuff for me, now do I?

So, please, please, oh, please, neocons, if you're going to engage me, apply data that doesn't get caught in my mental spam filter. Surprise me. Stun me. Rock me. Thrill me. Use your mind for more than an echo device, m'kay?

And keep the talking points, those are for idiots.