WaPo: The Perks of the Job

Monday, February 13, 2006 at 10:11 AM

What can you say about the insanity of sheriff's deputies having sex with prostitutes on tax-payer dollars? Don't worry. It's all in the name of law enforcement, as reported by the Washington Post. Really.

You see, in order to verify without question that the woman offering to perform a sexual act for money is an actual prostitute, the fine undercover deputies for the Spotsylvania County (Virginia) Sheriff's Department have to bite the bullet and actually allow the suspected hooker to perform the sexual act for money. Then, they tip her so that the money (usually marked, I'm sure) can be admitted into evidence.

Unfortunately, in similar cases elsewhere, prosecutors have had to drop charges against women arrested in this manner, because they don't want the methods used by the police to come out in open court. So, the hooker goes free and the cop gets a great b.j. on the taxpayers' dime. It's so Pretty Woman you could cry, right?

I know what you're thinking, what about their families? These officers might have wives or girlfriends. Don't worry. Only the single cops get to have sex with suspected prostitutes. Breaking the law is one thing. Breaking those marriage vows is apparently quite another.

Despite how funny this all is, what really gets me is that police officers always have to write a report about undercover operations and any arrests they've made. Do you think, maybe, that a lot of Spotsylvania County incident reports start with "I never thought this would happen to me, but...."? Are they delivered to court in sealed manilla envelopes or wrapped in opaque silver plastic? Are the hookers described as far more attractive and much more sexuallly satisfied than they were in real life?

You have to wonder.