Repubs represent the common man...who loves creme brulee, Pistachio Pavé , Peruvian-roasted chicken

Monday, March 27, 2006 at 03:13 PM

It's always interesting theater when the Republicans--who have been the party of the rich and the businessman for as long as I've been alive--portray themselves as protectors of the common man.  That was Reagan's primary pose, as it is for George W. Bush (but not his father).

And of course the foaming heads on t.v. are all just as ordinary as...well, lets take a tour of some menus and a trip through Ann Coulter's past.

On March 24, Dick Cheney dropped in at the Westin La Paloma Resort & Spa in Tucson to break bread with 600 GOP faithful at a Republican pep rally. "Attendees munched on Peruvian-roasted chicken breast and crème brulée after Cheney's 20-minute speech..."  Oh, by the way, "About a dozen Tucson business executives also paid $10,000 apiece for a private audience with Cheney..."

Those sure are some good salt of the earth types.  Me, I frankly don't know what the hell "Peruvian-roasted chicken" is, and while I've heard of creme brulee, I doubt that I've ever eaten it and, again, I couldn't tell you what it is.  As for paying to chat with Cheney, I wanted to do that, but I didn't think they'd take my collection of Baseball America magazines in lieu of the ten grand.

On June 19, 2002, 6,453 people attended the President's Dinner at the Washington Convention Center, raising $30 million for the National Republican Congressional Committee and the National Republican Senatorial Committee.  The menu for that aggregation of good old guys:

First Course
Petite Vidalia Onion Tart
Salad of Spring Lettuces
Columbia Crest Columbia Valley Chardonnay

Main Course
Herbed Tenderloin
Jumbo Prawns
Potato Galettes
Herbed Vegetables
Hearth-Baked Rustic Breads
Columbia Crest Columbia Valley Merlot/Cabernet

Pistachio Pavé
Chocolate Raspberry Imperial Tart
Miniature Chocolate Eclairs
Old Fashioned Lemon Diamonds
Miniature Raspberry Pavés
Miniature Caramel Tartlets

Dessert, Coffee and Cordials served at Après Reception

I wasn't able to make the dinner, but I did want to try dessert.  But nobody could tell me where the Après Reception Restaurant was.  All I got was directions to two different Applebees' and a story from a guy who seemed to have a bottle inside his little bag about how he used to eat at a place run by a big man named Elmo, until Elmo's got shut down for serving some food that moved on its own.

And George, God love his soul, must have a cast iron stomach.  After all that good food in DC, he headed off to Orlando, FL a couple of days later, to chew the food and the fat with some of his good old regular guy buddies.  I couldn't make that one, either, but I know I'd have made some friends at the head table, along with:

...U.S. Sugar Corp.; Outback Steakhouse of Tampa; the founders of Hooter's restaurants; A. Duda & Sons Inc., a giant Florida-based citrus, vegetable and sugar giant; and Diageo LPC, one of the world's largest beer and liquor dealers.

But then sitting at the head table cost 25 grand and up.  Still, it would have been nice to see the decor, which "matched the theme, with gold and green napkins and gold plates. The chairs had been spray-painted gold. The cushions were gold."

Tom DeLay, now there's a man of the people, especially if you're one of the people with a pest control problem.  Probably a chili and 'dawgs kind of guy.  Unless he's dining at Palmas del Mar, an oceanside Puerto Rican resort offering bouillabaisse for about $35.50, Dover sole for $37.50 and filet mignon for $28.50, and where you can work off the calories at the resort's facilities for casino gambling, horseback riding, snorkeling, deep-sea fishing and swimming/lounging on private beaches.

But that's small (though very fancy) potatos, compared to DeLay's dining experiences at "Morton's of Chicago, where the average dinner for two goes for about $170 before tax and tip, and "21" in Manhattan, a longtime glamour spot where American caviar goes for $38 for a taste."

Ann Coulter is rumored to like a drink or two, having listed her favorites as (citing Emily Freund, "Ann Coulter: She May Be Right," The Westchester WAG, October 2002): Chardonnay, margaritas, and bourbon.

But hey, what do you expect from a woman who was brought up in New Canaan, Conn, whose "oldest brother, John, would bring me, this white-bread kid from the suburbs, down to the Upper East Side. He'd leave me with books by Milton Friedman (Nobel Prize winning economist) while he went to bar exam class, and then come back and quiz me. My reward for answering his questions correctly was accompanying him to bars and nightclubs.'"

No wonder she's so angry having survived this deprivation and pressure to survive.  And the brother, so strict: "No nightclubbing 'till you pass your Friedman quiz!"

Her humble upbringing is probably the reason that she so lacked confidence that it took God himself to get her to turn awayy from a lowly career as a highly placed government lawyer and dare to attempt a career as a pundit personality.  Thank God that God said to her "we've got enough lawyers, you are supposed to be on TV."

No wonder I'm not a Republican.  My welfare background and paying for college with VA benefits and 35 to 40 hours of work a week just makes me too elite to ever earn the trust of such humble, God-fearing, unpresuming, salt of the earth folks.  Thank God the workers of the world have Republicans to watch out for them.