Sorry, Yahoo, Our Bad!

By Number Six

Thursday, July 20, 2006 at 03:25 AM

Seems web engine Yahoo took a beating in the stocks....

Again, the Vision Statement of WTW comes to mind: Wiping out propaganda, and of course, Wall Street, for so many years now, like everyone else, operates on spin, lies, deceptions and illusions, so, allow me explain why Yahoo's taking a beating, okay?

It's my fault. There. Really, blame me. It's all my doing.

No, I didn't engineer a virus, or some other nasty thing, I just did what all humans...or I should say...consumers...do: I elected not to use their services any longer.

See, folks, Wall Street operates on a set of rules that exist only in Fairytale Land. Not in reality. What exists in reality? Why, the Star Trek "Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition", of course, all of which are based on cold, hard logic...of making profits.

And Yahoo? They trashed a biggie:

#57: Good customers are as rare as latinum...treaure them.

Well, if we recall, back when our wannabee totalitarian regime demanded search engines start handing over data on who-searches-for-what, as part of this Fatherland Security shit, well, do we recall what search engine rolled over like a mutt and said, "Why, sure!"

MmmmHmmm.

And do we also recall what, we, the many consumers did in reply to that? Lessee now, tools, options, ah, reset the home page to...well, anything other than Yahoo.

Multiply what I did by Sissy(Mixter), Lee, gee, this list might run on some, eh?....and you get a thing going: Consumer rebellion.

We, the consumer, basically told Yahoo what orifice to slide their services into, and with one quick series of clicks.

Years ago, back when I was at one of those fabulous quality schools, I was smart enough to know many things early on. That sent me ahead. Others, and it shocked me, still, even though they were CEO's, whatever...didn't own a fucking clue!

"Why do we need this quality stuff, anyways?", said one disgruntled CEO to me.
"Simple.", I smirked. "You like to eat? Drive your car? Send your kids to Yale? Then, you'd better learn this stuff and quickly, and while you're at it, lose those Wall Street fantasies, they don't work and never have."
He sat back hard. "So, what am I not knowing?"
I grinned. "Rule 57, dude."

Rule 57 works all the way back to that one day Ogg and Yrr were trading skins for grub. A concept was born, an old maxim that is with us to this day, and sad to say, too many firms still don't get it!

THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!

So, what happened? Easy, a lot of us computer users, web freaks and bloggers, at hearing this lovely news that our habits, our emails, etc...were being handed by Yahoo over to Gonzo, well, we sort of retaliated against Yahoo: We clicked off and went elsewhere.

And like that, that's suddenly a few billions less "hits" on their precious ads. That also equates into millions less profits.

Yet, the news item doesn't mention this neat little factoid, that, oh yes, Rule 57 still works and kicks major tail rotor.

Yahoo had me and countless millions as customers. They elected to pour piss on us all. We elected to go elsewhere. A five-year old Ferengi child would gasp and become stunned at this clear violation of the rules.

No, Yahoo is going to change their appearance, yeah, that'll work. My ass. It won't.

Yahoo, then, is as guilty of sin of the same kinds of economic sins many failed firms have suffered, and the biggest sin of them all, too...they pissed off the customer.

#162: Even in the worst of times, someone still turns a profit

Like Google, Yahoo? Like how they fought off Gonzo's demands? I can respect a vendor that follows my wishes and demands, that's a vendor I can count on. Google resisted. I like that.

So, Yahoo loses millions. Wah. BFD. Their own fault, I say: They told the customers to go to hell, and in economics, that's a death sentence.